Euphoria Doesn't Go Well With Wheels
There I was again in a new class, full of hope of getting to know the people who share the same academic interests as me, and maybe make a long lasting bond with people I can connect to. I can't even begin to count how many times this sequence happened in all my college years, usually it goes on for several weeks in every new class, and interestingly enough, I never seem to learn and get less excited, every time it's the same 1 minute high, every time the same long lasting low afterwards.
For you to understand why this is such a torture for me, first you need to know that I'm the sort of person who has a lot of energy and wants to go out and laugh and see things and meet interesting people, to have fun and feel close to others, but almost never gets invited because the person who approached me was simply making sure I didn't need assistance before leaving to mingle with the other students, which is a nice (and not all that common) gesture, but that takes me back to stage zero, only now with a new self awareness of the wheelchair that wasn't this accurate before.
And a plot twist to this scene is that a lot of the times I actually do need help, but ignore it because I'm afraid to ruin our future friendship with boring requests. And then I'm left alone with an existential crisis and a headache from the metaphorical roller coaster I went through.
