Shadows
I'm introducing a new character here called The Shadow, who will follow me on my comic endeavors and represent the many sides to criticism. This comic was inspired by a friend of mine who is an artist and very critical of my work as well as of my personal choices in life. It's called "The Critic" and what I was trying to express here is the inhuman quality to criticism as a way to measure human worth, and how it's really just smoke, not solid, not real. If he's reading this he's probably thinking I'm typing this wrong and that I can't even understand what the word wrong means or what meaning is... Yeah.
He actually loved this piece, said our eyes lead to a rising motion. I like that, I think it's accurate to all the important things he taught me about art. I'm the ranty kind of person, and upon witnessing my rants, many times people said "what an arrogant ass, stop talking to him", and although I'd agonize over whether I should let his hand take over or fight it, I never did stop, simply because I like learning. Being given access to even a tiny portion of such a large knowledge is a privilege, and I love knowing there are ideas infinitely bigger than me. But there is one thing I learned with him that is far more valuable than any artistic insight, something I only understood long after drawing this.
When people see me they see my obvious physical limitation and can imagine my life is challenging, but what they see is just the tip of the iceberg, and you know what I realized? I survived the whole fucking iceberg for 22 years without any major damage, and yes my behavior can be very unhealthy at times and I need so much support, but I think I know a thing or two about how to carry myself. I have grown enough now that when someone tells me I'm spoiled or that I'm playing the victim or whatever crap people say to deny a reality too uncomfortable to sit with, I can listen and let my inner wisdom decide what to do with it, because I think my own voice is definitely worth listening to above all the white noise. So I was thinking to myself last night, how come a bunch of smoke has the power to loom over me when I'm the solid one? And the answer is it really doesn't unless I give it power, so I'll chose not to.
- para Carlos
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