My start into the adventures of dating happened later than I care to admit in a page with these many strangers, but suffice to say, it was late. The reason for that is that I didn't quite know how to be a woman with a disability, as I was only ever taught how to be a genderless sexless creature. And maybe in the future I'll offer more details on just how bumpy that change was, but the point today is that change happened, regardless of how confusing it was, I finally found my way into the sexual spheres of existence, where I had the most mindblowing discovery of my adult life. Well maybe second place to that one time I fell in love with an old woman, but mindblowing still.
See folks, I used to think the reason for my forced assexuality was my disability, and yeah certainly not everyone is gonna be on board, it does come with its set of... uniqueness, but no, the big BIG (honey it's not a compliment) reason behind my sexual struggle is as obvious as it is surprising. A lot of men – can I say most men? I'm gonna go ahead and say most men – are just full of shit. They are, even if they portray themselves as pro feminist, the truth... oh the truth comes out. Again, not a compliment. I was either lucky or smart enough to never find a rapist, but now I see how consent is definitely not the priority and I hate how bitter that makes me. And you know what's the consequence of not worrying about what women want? I won't be crass, but let's just say basic anatomy facts sometimes get overlooked. Yes, even if he's in med school, I tested. Not even to mention the generalized dumbness in the world, that I just can't take, the feeling of disappointment when after all those books listed on his profile he's just acting like a zombie on the booth across from me. AND STILL WANTS TO BONE AFTERWARDS, after hardly stringing 10 sentences together.
So yeah, dating is not quite how it looked on the movies I watched with my sister back in the day, and I guess other girls have been telling me this and I just thought they were the issue somehow. And I guess now I'm one of the girls. Hooray.