Cassie Q

Pretty Is Always The Default

This is a comic I did to illustrate the creation of what I think is the drawing tool that better expresses my relationship with my body.

When I drew myself for the first time, my first instinct was to draw a pretty girl with a slender, symmetric figure, just like I had my entire life. I’ve never even seen art that portrayed an imperfect female body, and felt angry that now I had to learn how to trace my messed up body that would completely ruin the piece I had in mind with its ugliness. My ugliness was an unpleasant surprise I didn’t count on having to incorporate on my art, because I was so used to assume drawings should look pretty. Prettiness is the default; it’s what people simply assume, anything else is deviant.

So I drew my squiggles instead, out of hate for a body that wasn’t even worth being drawn. This is a very painful comic for me to talk about, because self hate is the single most difficult feeling that I deal with, and I hope that as I gain more experience I can nurture a new appreciation for twisted lines.

#comics #selfloathing

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