Cassie Q

No Complaining

The thing about disabilities is that you often need a little hand to get things done, and depending on how much help you need and how little money you have, that hand might be the one of a family member that fell into that role for lack of option. And the thing about help is that there is a power play, that the helper usually fails to acknowledge.

During the time I stayed with my sister, in addition to other relatives as well, I learned that standing up for disabled dignity and autonomy often means standing against the very people who help you, and Alice is having none of it. Alice is happy to help, but Alice needs to be thanked endlessly for her benevolence, even when what I feel is hunger or thirst or pain, and oh, how Alice wishes she could just put my ungratefulness in a little box so she could remain oblivious to reality.

So I'll say this: it's okay to need help, and it's okay for the helped to also have boundaries, and it's okay to not feel thankful at all times. It's okay to be human and demand to be treated as such.

#family #Alice #wheelchair

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